The Bible tells me all I must do is ask, and then, I will receive all that I need. I don't have to do an impossible task, and I don't have to accomplish an epic deed. No quest is necessary, merely a question or plea for a better world, a better life, a better me. As I pray through my list each night, and try to balance at least a few thank yous with all the pleading, I have to wonder if I truly follow up on my petitions, or try to listen for an answer other than: Did it happen, or did it not happen? Is it arrogance on my part to set the parameters for a response from the Almighty? Yup.
In recent months, the format of my prayers has changed from supplicant to Supplier of the Universe, to a child both telling happy and sad tales, and making requests of his Father. Sometimes, the answer is in my mind before I finish the plea, as I realize it is vain, or hurtful, or sublimely ridiculous (may I have the lottery numbers please?). Sometimes, especially when asking for guidance, a small voice, barely discernible unless I am truly listening, whispers a word or two of wisdom. Sometimes the power of prayer glows forth in blessings on those for whom I pray, and sometimes there is no glow. Mostly, I have learned to trust that an answer is coming, though it may not be the one I want, and that often as not, "No," means "Not yet."
My prayer list grows longer with each new day:
More questions and answers I want to know.
Though I feel better when I've had my say,
Tell me, what do I do, when God says, "No?"
He said He would always answer my questions,
Though it might take a while for me to know;
And I'm always filled with "good" suggestions,
Tell me, what do I do when God says, "No?"
Yet, I seldom ask for trivial things,
Money, possessions and things that I know
Would harm someone else from my requestings,
And yet, what do I do when God says, "No?"
I hold to one hope, for it's my best bet,
That His "No" may truly mean, "Not just yet."