Ultimately, I must stand alone and fight against an enemy born of my own body. Doctors can pump chemicals into my veins. Xrays and blood tests and electrical measurements map the progress of this insidious killer, as well as the small and costly victories in an internal war of attrition. Mercenary troops are recruited, and though ready to kill anything in sight, need strong guidance and training to attack only the enemy, not their new allies.
Each night, during the long dark hours when sleep seems unreachable, I stand alone on that inner battlefield, and search for the enemy. Yet, it does not show itself, sending only the broken and malformed victims of its dark, bloody alchemy. The chemical forces are fearfully strong, yet the enemy of my enemy is my friend, no matter how powerful and gruesome to behold.
I search for the enemy: It is found in the shadows and fights only in darkness. I fight. I fight with the power of my dark allies and with the light sent by my friends.
Whispers of a Silent Fear
There in the dark at the edge of my mind,
An indigo, black velvet, darkness looms,
Filling the verge and each crevice it finds,
Hallways and stairwells and dark, shuttered rooms.
Voices that tease the sheer fringe of my sense,
Whispering warnings that I cannot hear,
Force me to listen with no recompense,
Forging an aural-steel dragnet of fear.
Rivulets of restlessness drip in the gloom,
Shadows of foreboding form 'round each bend,
Trigger the shivers, that foretelling doom,
Signal a lonely and imminent end.
My friends help me win this dark, inner fight,
By sending me love and faith's brilliant light.